


illicit affairs

by lunalikespace



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Songfic, also smut, but also friends with benefits sort of??, handjobs, shitty parents, strangers to lovers? sort of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:22:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25757311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunalikespace/pseuds/lunalikespace
Summary: what started in beautiful rooms, ends with meetings in parking lotsand that's the thing about illicit affairs, and clandestine meetings and longing staresit's born from just one single glance, but it dies and it dies and it diesa million little times......or does it?
Relationships: Thomas Jefferson/James Madison
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	illicit affairs

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is centered around illicit affairs by taylor swift, so i highly recommend listening to that first  
> honestly, just listen to all of folklore
> 
> tw: a whole lotta homophobia

The Jeffersons’ mansion faded away as the car drove down the long, winding driveway. James gazed back at it as he was driven away by his chauffeur. Not a sound was made as he had wordlessly stepped into the vehicle, still being flushed from his previous encounter. The driver was already sworn to secrecy, anyways. 

He would have preferred to remain there. James could have stayed, wrapped up in Thomas forever. Beside him in all things. It felt right, natural. The way he felt his heart flutter when Thomas pulled him in for a kiss and the way his pupils were blown out when they pulled apart. The way they stumbled up the stairs and fell down on the king sized bed. 

James would have never ever left, had it not been for his phone ringing from atop the bedside table. His mother, angry — of course — that he was gone without any contact or warning, had sent a car for him and he had better be ready when it pulled in. Thomas stole another few kisses from him before James had to leave. 

He had waited on the front steps of the extravagant home until the driver pulled in. James had done his best to flatten his wrinkled shirt and tried to take a few calming breaths to stop the pink flush that was still finding its way to his cheeks. He deemed his efforts as good enough. 

James finished replaying all of the events of today's meeting with Thomas on the way home. Reality finally caught up with him as they pulled in his driveway. He absolutely dreaded the idea of an interaction with his family still looking like a disheveled mess, but he knew there was no escaping it. 

His father scoffed as he walked in the doorway. “Jesus, did you get into a fight?” 

“Do you have any idea how worried we’ve been?” His mother asked, “And exactly what happened to you?” 

James did his best to dodge their questions, “I was at Jefferson’s place, we were just working on a project together and I fell asleep, I was just super exhausted.” 

“Don’t be disrespectful like that ever again, James.” His mother hissed to the half-hearted lie. 

“Yes, mother.” James replied, like the perfect child he spent his life training to be. James dodged the rest of his parents' questions and comments and immediately went to his room. 

His bedroom was spacious as well. Really, the whole house was. The Madison —and Jefferson—families were very popular in Virginia, which dated back all the way to the colonial era. Their dynasties were built up long ago, resulting in very wealthy and powerful descendants. In fact, Jeffersons and Madisons had often worked together as friends. So, James’ parents often pushed his friendship with Thomas.

If only they really knew what their  _ friendship  _ was like. 

James shuddered at the thought. His parents finding out about his doings with Thomas was the absolute last thing he wanted. His family was very traditional, probably because of their longstanding history, and therefore anything of that nature with another man was very strictly prohibited. If not for the very obvious homophobia from his parents, James would’ve probably figured that out just from the world around him. 

He lived in a ritzy neighborhood within a relatively small town in Virginia. The town was beautiful, with tons of historical charm, but the people were a different story. James often found himself rolling his eyes at the townsfolk and their outdated ideals. 

James had become so annoyed with his peers he begged his parents to pull him from the snobby private school he had been enrolled in. After nearly a year of begging, James finished his remaining three years of education at the local public highschool. 

That was nearly two years ago. His senior year had just rolled around a couple of weeks ago and James couldn’t wait to finish it already. As beautiful and charming as his town was, he couldn’t wait to escape it.

There was one thing—or rather, person—that held him back, though. 

  
  
  
  
  


It was a late Saturday afternoon at the Madison residence. James’ parents were out on some important lunch and all of his siblings seemed to have plans. Their absence didn’t really bother him, though. In fact, he preferred the quiet. Although he felt the gigantic house unnecessary, James enjoyed roaming the big empty halls when he was alone. 

As he rounded the corner to the far end of the manor, his phone buzzed from his pocket. A text, from Thomas. 

_ I'll be at your place in 15, be ready _

James nearly choked at the message, before running all the way back across the residence. He returned to his bedroom in haste as his mind ran a thousand miles a minute. He quickly changed out of his drab clothes and into something at least a little nicer. After making sure everything about himself was perfect, James grabbed cologne off his shelf but hesitated and left without it. Better to not leave a trace, anyways. 

He raced down the stairs and checked the time as he passed a clock. He had roughly five minutes and decided to wait on the porch. The Virginia weather was perfect for things of that sort. 

Thomas pulled up in his car, some fancy type that James didn’t care to know, and flashed a grin at him. James silently cursed himself for the smile that crept its way up onto his face when Thomas grinned that stupid grin of his. He also tried to ignore the pink flush that seemed to dust his cheeks, but that wasn’t really working either. He didn’t think twice as he got into the passenger seat. 

“I'm surprised you even know how to drive.” James remarked, buckling his seatbelt as Thomas peeled out of the driveway. 

He glanced over at James, “Well, I do drive myself for the important things,” Thomas said, winking. 

James turned red and made a mental note to try and  _ not  _ say embarrassing things like that. “So, where are we headed?” He asked, in a timid voice. 

Thomas shrugged, nonchalantly, “The mall.” 

James only nodded in response, but his mind raced at that answer. What the hell were they doing at the mall? James looked over at Thomas but reading him was impossible. Figuring out what went on in his head was proving to be even more difficult. James came to the conclusion that he would just have to wait and see. 

The radio was blaring some music that James didn’t know as they pulled into the mall. Thomas pulled into a parking spot and turned the car off. As he started to open his door, he looked over at James. “You coming?” He asked. James nodded, jumping up and out of the vehicle. He followed behind Thomas as they walked into the mall. 

“Okay, seriously, where are we going?” James asked, slightly annoyed by the secrecy. 

Thomas rolled his eyes, “Can I do something nice for you?” 

James felt his heart skip a beat at that and all of his objections were gone. He wondered to himself if Thomas was considering this a date or not; and the thought of him thinking this  _ was  _ a date made his face heat up. 

He was so deep in thought that James didn’t even realize that they were walking into an ice cream shop. They waited in line for a few minutes until they were up at the counter.    
  
“What d’ya want?” Thomas asked. 

James looked at the options for a moment, thought he knew what he wanted. “Hm, cookies an cream,” James replied. 

Thomas nodded and spoke with the lady behind the counter. He handed the double scoop cookies an creame to James and kept the rocky road cone for himself. He paid for them both and after a short walk, the pair returned to Thomas’ car. 

They both got in the front and continued to eat their ice cream cones. James asked, “So, what exactly possessed you to do this?” 

“You are just full of questions today, aren’t you?” Thomas asked, grinning. 

James averted his eyes. “I’m just curious, we’ve never done anything like this before.” 

“Just figured I'd try something new,” Thomas said smugly. 

James snorted, “Do you take all your hookups on ice cream dates?” 

“Only you, babe,” Thomas teased. Although they both knew the only hookup happening was between the two of them. 

James almost choked from that response. “Mm, good to know,” He remarked. 

A few moments passed in silence and Thomas was already almost finished with his cone. He turned on the ignition wordlessly and began driving. Before James even has the chance to question where they were going now, Thomas pulled the car into a spot behind the mall. 

The mall was located at the far end of town, at the top of the hill. It overlooked a large drop off and at the bottom was the lake that their town was home to. With the sun just starting to set, the view was absolutely amazing. 

“What are we doing here?” James asked, but he had a pretty good idea of what was going to happen. 

Thomas looked over at James, raising an eyebrow. “Do I  _ really _ need to answer that question?” He asked, in a low voice, leaning towards him more. 

James shuddered at his words. He shook his head ever so slightly and that was all the confirmation Thomas needed. His lips met James’ roughly, his hands snaking their way up his back and resting at the back of his head. 

Thomas’ lips were cold and tasted like ice cream still. But they still held a certain softness that always seemed to draw James in. And his hands firm around James’ neck made him feel secure in a point past the way a casual hookup should’ve. He tried to ignore that, which was easy with Thomas’ intoxicating lips. 

“Get in the back,” Thomas breathed into James’ mouth.

He didn’t need any more instruction as he toppled into the backseat of the car. 

Thomas was on top of him in seconds and began trailing kisses down his jawline to his neck. He peppered kisses across it before he started sucking on a spot just above James’ collarbone. 

“Thomas,” James began, breathlessly, “Stop it, you're going to leave a mark!” 

Thomas pulled away for a moment to look at his work. He chuckled to himself. “Guess you’ll be wearing collared shirts then.” 

James groaned in annoyance, but he wasn’t really mad. He couldn’t be with Thomas’ lips on his, and his hands crawling up under his shirt. He helped James pull his shirt up and over his head and Thomas took to unbuttoning his. James tied his best not to stare but he couldn’t help himself. Thomas had near perfect washboard abs with the v shape leading downward. 

“Like what you see?” Thomas teased. 

“Shut up,” The phrase was meant to come out with a little more dominance but it mostly just came out as a whine, much to James’ dismay. He tried to ignore how flushed his face was. 

Thomas just smirked at him in response before attacking his chest with kisses. James moaned slightly from above him. “Stop teasing me,” James said, his words coming out a mumbled mess. 

Thomas met his eyes once more. “Are you sure?” He asked, his voice full of concern. 

James smiled bashfully. He was always so respectful when it came to these kinds of things. “I'm sure,” He whispered. 

Thomas placed another kiss on his lips, softer than he had previously, before he pressed his hand in between his legs. James tried his best to stifle his moan but failed miserably. He knew Thomas could feel how hard he was already. 

James couldn’t focus on anything with Thomas’ hand around his dick. His hand moved up and down at a teasingly slow speed, which made James curse and moan his name. He couldn’t describe how Thomas made him feel, but it was unlike anything else he experienced with anyone else. Thomas made his heart jump and his insides turn to jelly. 

As Thomas continued pumping his hand on James, he returned his attention to his collarbone where he started sucking more hickies into his skin. At that point, James gave up trying to tell Thomas to not leave marks and just accepted the fact that hoodies and collared shirts were going to be his new best friend for a while. Not that he would ever admit it, but he liked them more than he let on. 

“Fuck, Thomas— “ James moaned. 

“Mm, that feel good?” Thomas purred into his ear. 

“Yes,  _ god _ .” James breathed. 

Thomas sucked on his earlobe, making James let out a moan. His hands found their way into Thomas’ coily curls and he gripped his hair tightly. Thomas groaned into his ear. James was suddenly thankful that it was dusk outside and they were parked far away from any onlookers. He looked to the side of him to see that the car windows were all steamed up and he reddened. 

The speed of his hands around James’ dick increased and James moaned again. “Thomas, I'm getting close,” James whined. 

He whined even more when Thomas removed his hand. “Not yet, babe,” He said. 

Thomas turned around and reached for something in the glovebox. James’ head felt fuzzy and cloudy, like he couldn’t quite think straight. It took him a minute to realize what exactly Thomas was reaching for before it clicked. 

Thomas turned back around with the small bottle in his hand. He squirted a generous amount of lube into his hand before pressing his fingers into James, catching him off guard. 

“Fuck, Thomas,” James cursed. 

He grinned sheepishly, “Sorry, I thought you knew.” 

James sucked in a shaky breath as Thomas continued to spread him open. He thrusted his fingers into James with considerably more force once he was more warmed up to the pressure. James moaned loudly at the sudden force. 

The feeling didn’t last as long as James would’ve preferred, as Thomas pulled his fingers out after a few moments. “You ready?” He asked. 

James nodded, wordlessly, before Thomas pushed himself into James. James moaned loudly at the suddenness of it all. 

“Mm, James, you feel so good,” Thomas moaned. 

“God, so do you,” James whined. 

Thomas thrusted into James again, this time with a little more force, making James moan again. Thomas just ate it up; James’ moans were music to his ears. They both enjoyed the steady pace that Thomas set for a few moments. James could feel the heat building up in his core the longer it went on. 

“Harder,” James breathed. Thomas complied with a grunt and slammed into James, almost making him scream. He continued pulling out and pushing back into James before he heard James whine again. “Fuck, Thomas, I’m cl—” The rest of his sentence was lost to the abyss when Thomas slammed into him again with full force, pushing him over the edge. Watching the man under him moan and release was enough to make Thomas follow suit. 

After they both came down from their high, Thomas pulled himself out of James and plopped into the seat beside him, his breathing still heavy. 

“Sorry about the mess,” James muttered, dumbfounded. His brain felt like mush. 

Thomas shrugged, “Don't worry about it, it's just a car.” 

James nodded. They both cleaned themselves up as best they could, and moved back to the front seats. 

Thomas fired up the ignition and turned on the air, since the car was sweltering at that point. James glanced at the time as it flashed up on the radio. “Fuck, my parents are gonna kill me,” He muttered. 

“D’ya need to get home?” Thomas asked, finally meeting his eyes. 

James glanced at the time again. As much as he would’ve wanted to stay, he could already picture his mother's angry face. “I probably should.” His said, his voice trailing off. 

Thomas nodded and buckled his seatbelt before pulling out of the parking spot. He drove out of the mall and away from the town. Soon enough he was pulling into James’ driveway. 

“Thanks for the ice cream and, uh,” James cleared his throat awkwardly, “other stuff.” 

Thomas smirked, “Anytime.”

James said goodbye before hopping out and returning to his home. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"When did you and that Jefferson boy become friends?" James' father asked, one night at dinner.

James looked from his food to meet his father's gaze. It didn't hold a trace of anger, it was just simply from a place of curiosity. 

However, James' head began to spin as he tried to think of a lie. "Um," He began, clearing his throat, "We were partners for a school project." Which wasn't  _ entirely  _ a lie. They did initially meet from being partners for a science project. 

It all started his sophomore year, in physics. The class was instructed to build some sort of miniature car and see how far it went. The teacher assigned partners and James found himself paired with Thomas. They made a rough plan before the bell rang and decided to meet at Thomas' house that night to work on it some more. 

In short, the project wasn't the only thing that got done that night. 

James couldn't even quite recall exactly how they actually got to that point in the span of a few hours. He figured that it was probably the way Thomas flirted with him mixed with a little liquid courage, which Thomas had so generously provided.

Their affair continued long after their physics project was completed. They met every few weeks, after school at Thomas' house under the guise of "completing school work" together. It started out as just fucking to fuck. They were horny teenagers and needed to get that feeling out  _ somehow.  _ There was rarely any speaking and mostly just  _ doing _ . But, James was starting to have a harder time denying his underlying feelings for Thomas. 

It was maybe six months into whatever was going on between them when Thomas asked him one very awkward question. 

"So, are you gay?" Thomas asked, his arms holding himself above James. 

James peered back at him with utter confusion, “Huh?” They were in the middle of a very heated makeout session, not exactly great timing for identity-crisis level questions. 

“I asked if you’re gay,” Thomas repeated again, casually. 

James sputtered on his words, “I—no!” He hissed, defensively. Thomas just raised an eyebrow at him. James felt his face heat up. He  _ was _ currently under the man he had been screwing around with for several months, so seeming straight wasn’t exactly on his side. 

“I—I don’t know, yes, maybe!” James frowned, defensively. “Why are you asking?” 

Thomas shrugged, “Just curious.” 

James had rolled his eyes at him before they returned to what they were doing. 

Outside of that conversation, they didn’t really discuss feelings. They didn’t really discuss anything, in fact. James would be lying if he said he didn’t yearn for more. But, back at the dinner table with his family, he was reminded of the fact that that would never be. Not with this family, with this lifestyle, in this town. 

He sighed and swallowed his feelings and tried to tune back into dinner conversation. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


James was sitting in his favorite class, history, but he couldn’t seem to focus. The teacher was lecturing with some notes and James was doing his best to keep up, but his mind kept wandering to the boy who was sitting across the room from him. 

Thomas was also hurrying to scribble down notes, his eyes glancing back and forth between his paper and the whiteboard. He looked completely unbothered by anything other than the teacher who was skipping slides way too fast. James distantly thought that he looked cute when he was focused, and then thought that he shouldn’t have thought that.

James tried to listen to his own advice, but he still found himself distracted. With his head resting on his hand, he absentmindedly thought about taking Thomas by the collar and smashing their lips together, and not for sex but just because he wanted to. 

“And can anyone tell me the date of that battle?” The teacher paused, “James?” 

James snapped out of his illusion and stared dumbfounded at the teacher. He glanced down at his notes but realized he was about 3 slides behind. Everyone in the room seemed to stare daggers into his skull, and James wished he could’ve just died then and there. 

“1812,” The kid next to him, Alex, whispered. 

“1812.” James repeated back to the teacher.

The teacher frowned, “Yes, that's correct.” And continued on with the lecture. 

Thomas smiled at him from across the room and gave him a thumbs up. James felt himself flush pink and smile back. After Thomas began writing again, James turned to Alex sitting beside him. “Thank you,” He whispered.

Alex nodded, “No problem,” he whispered back. 

James did his best to focus for the last five minutes of class but still found it difficult. All he wanted to do was to grab Thomas’ hand and run as far away from this town as he possibly could. 

His thoughts were cut off again by the sound of the bell going off, signaling the end of class. 

James was packing his bag when Alex suddenly spoke up again, “Y’know, you should just tell him.” He said, causally without even looking up. 

“What?” James questioned, confused. 

Alex stifled a laugh. “You’re not subtle, James,” He glanced at Thomas, “You were drooling over him all hour.” 

James turned red. “I was not!” He retorted, a little too defensively. 

“Mhm, okay. Whatever you say, Madison. But I still think you should tell him,” Alex said while slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “I’ll catch ya later,” He said, before walking out of the classroom, leaving James completely dumbfounded. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


The Madison residence was hosting a small gathering. James, much to his annoyance, was required to attend by his parents, who wanted to show _ what a great family they had _ . He rolled his eyes at that and wished he could’ve been literally anywhere else. 

James hated the social gatherings and the fancy parties and these awful clothes he had to wear. He would never be able to understand his parents’ obsession with their appearance to others. Always trying to out-do and show-up their friends. Their crave for the best clothes and hair and makeup, why they needed all the things they had. 

A small house tucked back in the forest away from prying eyes would've been enough, in James’ opinion. A tall bookcase with all of his favorite novels that he could crack open on rainy days and maybe a small vegetable garden in the backyard. James tried his best to not picture making pancakes on a Sunday morning with Thomas, but he still kind of did anyways. 

James shook off those ideas as mingled with some friends of his parents. They all asked about school and tried to hide their frowns and disgust when he reminded them that he left the ritzy private school their kids went to years ago. After reminding them of that fact, most of the guests didn’t want to really talk to him anymore. They couldn’t grasp the idea of someone  _ not _ wanting to live this way. 

James sighed as he sat down by himself at a table. He checked his watch and realized it had only been about forty-five minutes since the event started and he refrained from decking his head into the nearest wall. James wished something, anything, could drag him away from this place and, as if on cue, his phone buzzed from his pocket. A text from Thomas, of course. 

_ Are you busy?  _

James eyed the text for a moment. He looked around the room, and spotted his parents somewhere in the center of all the guests talking with a large group. He doubted they would even notice his absence. James typed out a quick reply.

_ Not really, why?  _

He waited a moment, before his phone buzzed again. 

_ Be there in 20?  _

James smiled, typing again.

_ I’ll be waiting.  _

He quickly and quietly shuffled through the big doors. Once he had made his escape, James dragged himself up the large staircase and into his bedroom. He changed out of his suit and into something more comfortable. 

If he was being honest with himself, he probably shouldn’t be seeing Thomas right now. That boy was making his head spin in far too many ways. James knew it was probably in his best interest to cut things off with him to save himself from heartbreak, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it. He knew if he ended their  _ situation,  _ Thomas would ask why, and he couldn’t really explain that to anyone, let alone himself. It was far easier to ignore his feelings and pretend they weren’t there. He could let himself enjoy whatever it was the two of them had without complicating things any further. Besides, it wasn’t like Thomas would ever feel the same way about him anyways. 

Thomas radiated confidence. He was always so sure of his words, never tripping over them like James himself did. Even in school, he would often end up debating Alexander in history class and any others that challenged him and he was so swift with his words. It was something that James always admired about him. There was also his goddamn smile. He was always smiling and grinning, especially when he knew he was being a cocky little shit. There were other things too of course, like his fluffy hair or even the fact that he towered over James at a staggering 6’’2, and James could have gone on for eons but he had to stop himself from thinking all that. 

He was reminded that he couldn’t afford to think that way as he passed by the party again. He heard all the noise muffed by the shut doors.  _ Shut doors _ were exactly what James was bound to see in his future if he kept chasing after Thomas like this. 

He shook his thoughts away and stepped outside. However, he wasn’t waiting very long before Thomas pulled in the driveway among all the other cars. James strolled over and got into the passenger seat. 

“You sure you’re not busy?” Thomas asked, referring to all the cars lining the driveway. 

James nodded, “Yeah, I'm sure. I’d rather be literally anywhere else than here.” 

“Rough day?” Thomas asked, glancing over at him. He was already out onto the road, driving towards town. 

James internally groaned at the idea of having sex in the cramped car again. He would’ve much preferred Thomas’ bedroom, or any room honestly, but he kept his complaints to himself. “Yeah, you could say that,” He replied. 

Thomas nodded. Silence drew between them as the radio played softly. The windows were rolled down letting the warm summer air hit James’ face. It was already dark outside, the only light coming from the sun's lingering rays. 

They kept driving, past the mall and past the downtown area. They were on the outskirts of town and James was very confused as to where they were going, until Thomas turned down the road to the lake. He drove down the road and pulled into a parking spot before turning off the ignition. 

“Shall we?” Thomas asked, opening his door. James didn’t even have the chance to question him before he got out of the car. So, he simply followed suit. Thomas retrieved a blanket from the back of his car and began walking towards the sandy beach. James was still confused, but followed him nonetheless. 

The pair found themselves sitting down on the blanket, looking up at the very first stars that were starting to shine in the night sky whilst listening to the waves crashing against the shore. It was a rather romantic scene, and James was trying very hard to not let his mind wander in the wrong direction. 

“Tell me about your day?” Thomas asked, glancing towards James.

James stayed looking at the sky, “My parents are throwing some charity-ball-event-party bullshit and making a whole deal of it.” 

Thomas chuckled, “I’m guessing you're not a fan of the parties?” 

James shook his head. “Nope, not at all.” 

“Well, i’m sorry about that.” Thomas said, looking over at him. He had real pity in his big brown eyes. 

James flushed slightly, “It's alright.” 

“Well, anytime you need an escape, just call me,” He said, bashfully. 

James smiled, “Alright, noted.” 

Silence hung between the pair. James was still gazing into his eyes when Thomas carefully cupped James’ face with his hands. James felt a breath catch in his throat when Thomas leaned towards him. And just as James realized what was about to happen, their lips collided.

Of course, James had kissed Thomas dozens of times before. This wasn’t anything new to either of them. But it  _ felt _ different. It felt like his heart was soaring. He could feel heat radiating off of Thomas in the barely chilly air and he noted how soft and gentle his movements were. His lips were soft and everything felt perfect. 

But the rational side of James screamed. 

Because he shouldn’t be here, kissing Thomas. He should be at home at the party, with his family. The family that would absolutely disown him if they saw him doing this with another boy. They would never speak to him again, probably throw him out and then what? 

James pulled away abruptly. 

Thomas looked at him, confusion and hurt displayed clearly across his face. “What’s wrong?” He asked, nervously. 

“I have to go, I’m sorry,” James said, shaking his head. 

Everything was a blur as he got up and ran. He fled Thomas and the beach and he didn’t stop running until he was in town. He sat at a bench, under a street light. James sucked in heavy breaths that pained his lungs. The feeling of Thomas’ lips ghosted over his own and he fought the urge to just cry right then and there. God, he wanted more than anything to kiss Thomas and tell him how much he meant to him. He could’ve stayed wrapped in his arms forever. James cursed himself for running and being so afraid. 

He heard footsteps, loud, and heavy breathing in the distance. In the low light, he saw Thomas running after him. 

When he did finally reach James, he was completely out of breath, “James,” he began, breathlessly, “Baby—”

“Don't!” James yelled. Thomas froze, mouth agape. “Don't call me kid or baby or any of that. Look at me, Thomas! Look at the idoitc fool that you made me. I am so helplessly in love with you and you're just  _ screwing  _ with my feelings. What _ is _ this?” James yelled. 

“I want you.” Thomas pleaded. 

James stared up at him in confusion. “What?” 

“I want you, and not just for sex. I want to kiss you and hold your hand. I wanna watch you get all flustered everytime I tease you. I wanna take you on more ice cream dates and beach dates and nice dinner dates and I wanna be the person you run to when your family is throwing some dumb fucking party, god, James, I just want you—” 

Thomas’ sentence was cut off by James smashing their lips together. He gripped Thomas’ shirt like it was his lifeline and Thomas cupped his face like he had earlier down by the water. James didn’t stop kissing him until he was out of breath again and even when he did pull away, he didn’t want to. 

“What about my family?” James said, breathlessly, looking up at Thomas. 

“We’ll figure it out. I would run away with you if that's what it took,” He said. 

“Please take me away from this town,” James whispered. 

“We’ll be gone before anyone even knows,” Thomas assured. 

James rested his head on Thomas’ chest as he wrapped his arms around James. Nothing mattered, not what his parents or anyone else thought. Everything he wanted was right here, in front of him and it was never getting away again. 

**Author's Note:**

> anyways if you know me irl, no you dont :)


End file.
